


It's a Date

by Purplefern



Category: Captain Underpants Series - Dav Pilkey, The Epic Tales of Captain Underpants (Cartoon)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Middle School, Erica is the coolest nerd you'll ever know, Erica would ironically unironically use square as an insult, Even if no one else does, F/M, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, George and Harold are wingmen, Half Normal Fic, I Ship It, I'm Bad At Titles, Melvin is insecure, Mild Hurt/Comfort, School Dances, because, half text fic, notice I didn't say good wingmen, the Melvin is happy and loved AU, title is stolen from another song, trying something new here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-28
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:48:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22930501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Purplefern/pseuds/Purplefern
Summary: It's the end of sixth grade year. Melvin has finally survived Jerome Horwitz. He just has to make it through this last awful school dance thrown by Mr Krupp. He was expecting it to go as boring and awful as any other year, but that all changes when Erica asks to go with him to the dance.(Also George and Harold ship it and are doing their best as wingmen.)
Relationships: Melvin Sneedly & George Beard & Harold Hutchins, Melvin Sneedly/Erica Wang
Kudos: 6





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this takes place one year after my fic "Only Us". But you don't have to read that story to understand this one. Just know that Melvin has mellowed out a lot after the events of Hack-a-Ween, and he and Erica have been texting back and forth throughout the school year. Also he's now friends with George and Harold, but that's not important until later.
> 
> (Also sorry but these first couple chapters probably won't work very well if you have the creator's styling turned off.)

Erica   
  
Hi Erica  
3:20 pm    
Hey what up  
3:20 pm    
Another year, another one of Mr Krupp's insufferable dances.  
3:21 pm    
Ohh yeahhhhhh. It's that time of the year isn't it?  
3:21 pm    
So what's the awful theme this year?  
3:21 pm    
I think he decided on insurance. But with Mr Krupp it's hard to tell. It could also be car shopping.  
3:22 pm    
Of course, Krupp wouldn't know what either of those looked like.  
3:23 pm    
Oh! BURN!  
3:23 pm    
George and Harold are already planning ways to make the dance " more interesting "  
3:25 pm    
I'm not sure which is worse.  
3:25 pm    
Those goofballs.  3:26 pm   
  
You're in 6 grade now, man. If you hate the dance so much just skip it. > ;)  
3:27 pm    
I can't skip it precisely because I'm in 6th grade.  
3:28 pm    
I'm almost free of this school I'm not doing anything to jeopardize that.  
3:28 pm    
Oooookaay  
3:29 pm    
Your loss.  
3:29 pm    
If I were there the dance would be way more fun. I can promise you that.  
3:30 pm    
Elitinati doesn't have any dances. > :(  
3:31 pm    
They are very fortunate  
3:31 pm    
Anyway, I was working on some coding for this project and was wondering if you had any ideas.  
3:33 pm    
It makes it halfway through execution then gives an exception error.  
  
3:33 pm   
  
I can send you the .java file  
3:34 pm    
Did you make sure that the counter starts at 0?  
3:36 pm    
Ah.  
3:41 pm    
And there it is.  
3:42 pm    
Hey  
3:49 pm    
What if I went to the dance with you?  
3:51 pm    
Melvin?  
3:56 pm    
Ok. If you want to Erica  
4:00 pm    
I'm not saying that I don't want to, to clarify  
4:00 pm    
Just that you don't have to if you don't want to.  
4:01 pm    
  
I DO want you to go with me  
4:01 pm    
I mean, I want you to go if you want to go. It doesn't have to be with me.  
4:01 pm    
Melvin, chill.  
4:02 pm    
If it makes you so stressed maybe I shouldn't.  
4:03 pm    
No! I'll go with you. It's fine.  
4:03 pm    
Cool  
4:04 pm    
So when's the dance?  
4:04 pm    
This Friday, at 5 pm.  
4:06 pm    
Well, freckles, you better get your good bowtie. I'll see you at the dance. ;)  
4:06 pm    
Ok  
4:07 pm    
Wait. Won't you get in trouble for sneaking out?  
4:10 pm    
Elitinati is a boarding school, isn't it?  
4:10 pm    
You only get in trouble if you get caught. ;)  
4:11 pm    
See you Fri  
4:12 pm   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this too fancy for a self-indulgent Captain Underpants fic? Probably, but this just started as an absent text fic that I wrote because I was bored at work, and then I found this  
>  https://archiveofourown.org/chapters/14729722?show_comments=true&view_full_work=false#comment_284070286   
> Which said how to make fics look like text messages and I just wanted to try it.  
> This story shouldn't be much longer than three chapters. That said, the last chapter will be actual normal fic, so will probably take longer to update, in case anyone actually cares.  
> Hope someone enjoyed this, leave kudos, comments, etc.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case it's unclear: George is gray and Harold is purple

George, Harold   
  
I need your assistance.  
4:44 pm    
What blew up now?  
4:50 pm    
...why is that your automatic assumption?  
4:51 pm    
Dude, you've had our numbers for over a year and you only text when you wrecked something  
4:52 pm    
Tru  
4:52 pm    
Well, it's not that.  
4:53 pm    
Erica wants to go to the dance with me.  
4:58 pm    
Woah  
4:59 pm    
Whaaaaaaaaaattt  
4:59 pm    
Our little man is going on a date!  
5:01 pm    
So good  
5:01 pm    
It's not a date!  
5:01 pm    
She's going as my friend and because she wants to find a way to make the dance less boring.  
5:02 pm    
You know she doesn't like me like that.  
5:02 pm    
But you like her like that  
5:03 pm    
[ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=non8leyx9aM ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=non8leyx9aM)  
5:03 pm    
XD  
5:04 pm    
It's not funny!  
5:05 pm   
Why did I even text you two...  
5:06 pm    
Because we're your friends and you're nervous about your date?  
5:07 pm    
Not a date!  
5:07 pm    
If it's not a date, what's the problem?  
5:07 pm    
You know Erica  
5:07 pm    
Because even if it's NOT A DATE, I still don't want to do something wrong.  
5:10 pm    
You may have noticed that I...don't have the best people skills.  
5:14 pm    
Don't worry. Erica gets you.  
5:16 pm    
And she's super chill anyway  
5:16 pm    
Buuuuut that doesn't mean you couldn't use some improvement  
5:17 pm    
OH! We can be wingmen!  
5:17 pm    
I've always wanted to be someone's wingman.  
5:17 pm    
We would be the best wingmen  
5:18 pm    
Do either of you actually know what a wingman is?  
5:19 pm    
not realy  
5:20 pm    
kinda  
5:20 pm    
Don't worry. We got you  
5:20 pm    
I feel so assured...  
5:21 pm    
Were gonna get you ready for your date  
5:22 pm   
Haha XD  
5:22 pm   
I swear..   
  



	3. Chapter 3

"Hmm,no" remarked George from where he sat upside-down on Melvin's bed, "Not that one either". 

Melvin huffed and untied yet another rejected bowtie, complaining, "This is completely unnecessary. It's just the Jerome Horwitz dance, no one ever has any standards for it. Plus I'm running out of bowties to try" 

George had not been joking when he said they were planning to get him ready for his “date”. Minutes after ending the conversation, Melvin had answered the door to find George and Harold on his doorstep, eager to get him to try on every outfit he owned (which was, to their disappointment, about two). They had been at this for about an hour, and nothing had been achieved. 

“Well, you asked for our help, didn’t you?” replied George, still hanging upside down but trying to look at him anyway, leaving him craning his neck awkwardly. 

“Yes. But not for choosing an  _ outfit _ . That doesn’t matter. I asked for your help so that I don’t say or do the wrong thing when I’m with Erica” 

“You know, you keep saying this isn’t a date, but you make it sound exactly like a date” remarked Harold unhelpfully. 

“What would you know about a date? None of us have ever been on one!” protested Melvin. 

“Pretty sure TV has told us all that we need to know about dates” replied Harold with no hesitation. 

“And TV tells me that the outfit matters a lot when you go to the dance with someone” added George, who had finally gotten up to look through the possible choices for Melvin’s wardrobe. 

Melvin sat down on his bed and held his head in his hands, his shoulders tense and hunched as he despaired, “You two are no help at all. I’m doomed. I’m going to do something wrong, and Erica will hate me again, and I am going to hold you two responsible”. 

Despite his harsh tone, George and Harold had gotten to recognize Melvin’s moods over the couple of years that they had all been friends. They could tell that this was getting to be seriously-stressed-and-insecure-Melvin. Dropping their blithe attitudes and jokes for the moment, they sat beside him on the bed so that he was sandwiched between them. 

“Do you really think you could do something to make Erica hate you?” asked Harold sympathetically. 

“Possibly” he replied, stress still clear in his posture, “After all, I managed to make everyone hate me previously, so clearly I have the capacity to do so again” 

“You know that that’s different” said George, resisting the desire to roll his eyes at an insecurity that they had had to deal with time and time again, “We’ve been through this”. 

“What George means is” added Harold pointedly, “That that’s all in the past”. 

Melvin did not look any more assured. He  _ tried  _ to be. He knew that they  _ had  _ gone over this multiple times, and by now he should just know that people didn’t hate him and that he was doing better but somehow it just never seemed to sink in all the way. 

“You and Erica have been hanging out for a while now, right?” asked Harold, trying to find a way to boost Melvin’s confidence. 

“We’ve been communicating since the end of last year” he confirmed. 

“See?” assured Harold, “She’s been fine with you. She wouldn’t have asked you to the dance if she hated you”. 

“But that’s communicating through  _ text _ ” Melvin cried out, gesturing angrily, “I have unlimited time to carefully think about what I say then. It won’t be anything like that Friday! I’ll have to talk to her in person. And every time I try to talk to someone it always goes wrong. After all, you two are only my friends because _ you _ reached out to  _ me _ ! All  _ I _ can do is ruin things with people before they start” 

At the end of his confession, Melvin slumped sadly forwards, his elbows on his knees and head once again held in his hands. 

“Psshh” responded George, attempting to smile reassuringly, “That’s not true”.

Melvin turned his head slightly and gave George a look that said  _ really? _ . 

“It’s  _ not. _ ” George insisted, “You’re fine at talking to people. You haven’t even started a conversation with an insult for months!” 

“A high bar indeed” replied Melvin sarcastically, “Thank goodness the standard for talking to Erica is simply to not insult her”. 

George threw his hands into the air, exasperated, a silent admission of  _ I’m done _ . Picking up the baton, Harold said, a bit more helpfully, “Well, what about at Erica’s going away party? You talked to her then and everything seemed to work out, right?” 

Melvin considered this, admitting, “I suppose that’s true”. 

“Yeah, see? You’ve talked to her before, it’ll be fine” reassured Harold, he then added, “And I still say that even if you do say something dumb, Erica won’t care. She’s too cool”. 

“I would never say something ‘dumb’” retaliated Melvin, looking offended, but clearly a lot less stressed than he was before. 

Harold rolled his eyes goodnaturedly at Melvin literalness and George jumped back into the conversation, "It all worked out. Now that that's dealt with we can get back to the important thing: finding an outfit!" 

Melvin fell backwards onto his bed, groaning "No more". (He couldn’t understand how George and Harold kept finding new ways to combine his limited wardrobe. If this went on any longer he was going to start calculating the permutations to try and endure this torture). To his relief, George relented. 

“Ok, fine” huffed George, disappointedly putting back the umpteenth outfit option. 

“We should probably both get home anyway” said Harold apologetically, checking the time on his phone, “My mom wanted me to be home by 6:30”. 

“Oh, right” agreed Melvin regretfully, feeling slightly more confident from the pep talk but still uncertain what to do come Friday. “We can discuss this further at a later time” 

“Alright. See you tomorrow, Melvin” said Harold, waving over his shoulder as he left the room and soon the house. 

Melvin, still sitting on his bed, returned the wave before staring thoughtfully into the distance and worrying his lip. George slung an arm around the genius' shoulder, ripping him out of his thoughts. “I have to get going too. But Melvin” at this the usually joking George turned serious, a supportive smile on his face, “Don’t worry so much, ok?” After a beat, Melvin gave the slightest of nods, and George’s grin widened. Jumping off of the bed, he ended in a lighter tone as he made his way to the bedroom door, “I mean, you’ve got us helping you, after all. What could possibly go wrong?” 

Sighing, Melvin said, deadpan but internally grateful for George’s support, “Goodbye, George”. 

“See ya!” chirped George in return as he went out the door, unfazed by Melvin’s tone. 

As he left Melvin’s house, George jogged to catch up with Harold. When he finally made it to his best friend, he paused to catch his breath, before suggesting, “I think we need to have a talk with Erica”. 

“Me, too” agreed Harold. They were interrupted in their shared plan when both of their stomachs grumbled loudly. “But after dinner” suggested Harold sheepishly, and George nodded in agreement. 


	4. Chapter 4

Erica, Harold   
  
So we heard someone asked someone to the dance  
7:00 pm    
Oh, no.  
7:01 pm    
  
I should have expected this.  
7:01 pm    
But for some reason I didn't think he would tell you  
7:01 pm    
Well he did  
7:03    
Hey Erica  
7:09 pm    
You know melvin still has a crush on you right?  
7:10 pm    
I wasn't sure  
7:12 pm   
We've only talked through texts for like a year  
7:12 pm    
You know he's taking this not date seriously tho  
7:13 pm    
Yeah. Hes realy stressed about it  
7:13 pm    
Why'd you even ask him to the dance?  
7:14 pm  
Because I wanted to  
7:16 pm    
Hey cmon. Thats not an answer  
7:21 pm    
Elitinati can actually be freakin boring  
7:26 pm    
The kids here are squares  
7:27 pm    
And Melvins not?  
7:27 pm   
huh?  
7:27 pm    
The tech kids can build a spaceship in a day but they have zero passion  
7:28 pm   
Their ships aren't creative  
7:29 pm    
They don't even name them  
7:29 pm    
They don't even seem to like talking about inventing!  
7:30 pm    
But, like, they invent things!  
7:30 pm    
Im lost  
7:31 pm    
what does this have to do with asking Melvin to the dance?  
7:31 pm    
Yeah! Stop dodging the issue!  
7:32 pm    
The point is Melvin is different from those guys  
7:35 pm    
He has passion for his inventions  
7:36 pm    
He's creative, unlike all these guys  
7:36 pm   
He's always enthusiastic about whatever he's doing when we talk  
7:36 pm    
It's sweet  
7:37 pm    
I kinda miss seeing him and his contraptions  
7:38 pm    
So I asked if I could go with him to the dance  
7:39 pm    
It sounded like a fun idea  
7:39 pm    
But like don't you still live here tho?  
7:40 pm    
You could just visit him  
7:40 pm    
Elitinati is a boarding school?  
7:41 pm    
?  
7:41 pm    
It means that I live at the school?  
7:42 pm    
EW!  
7:42 pm    
GROSS!  
7:42 pm   
Erica I am soooo sorry you have to go thru that  
7:42 pm    
-_-  
7:43 pm    
anyway so what ur saying is that you like Melvin :3  
7:43 pm    
So you asked him on a date :3  
7:43 pm    
Thats not exactly what's happening here  
7:44 pm    
But sure  
7:44 pm    
Whatever you guys say  
7:44 pm    
Now we diffently have to make this dance intresting  
7:45 pm    
our freinds ain't dancing to waiting room music  
7:45 pm    
So what kind of music do you like?  
7:46 pm    
So good.  
7:46 pm    
Wait if you guys are planning something I want in!  
7:46 pm    
Nope!  
7:47 pm    
It has to be a surprise  
7:47 pm    
It better be a good one then  
7:48 pm    
Or you two will regret it  
7:48 pm    
JK! :)  
7:49 pm    
haha  
7:50 pm    
Alright, see you Friday Erica ;)  
7:51 pm    


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So another text chapter bites the dust. I wanted to get back to Erica, and really think about what it is she would like about Melvin, and explore why she decided to ask him to the dance.
> 
> The next chapter is going to be awhile, it's the actual dance and it's actual, like, normal story, so that'll take some time. But for now I hope you enjoyed these last couple chapters. Leave kudos, comments, etc, thanks for reading.


End file.
